


Please Just Do It

by coldpizzadestiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Destiel - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-12-31
Packaged: 2018-05-03 07:15:15
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,423
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5281667
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coldpizzadestiel/pseuds/coldpizzadestiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Teenage boys Castiel and Dean got paired up to work on a  school project. But their relationship becomes far from professional.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I've Seen You Around

Castiel had a plan. It was simple: get the best grades you can, stay out of the drama, get into Columbia. That had been the plan since freshman year, when he realized what a waste of time the tradition of high school was. He just wanted to make it as quick and painless as possible. Castiel was careful where he invested his energy and kept his eyes focused on the prize, graduation. Castiel briefly strayed from this plan when he came out. Originally he thought that coming out would attract too much attention, which is exactly what he didn't want. But as time went on, he realized keeping it a secret was proving a harder task than he had expected. It was hard to dismiss comments about girls from his parents. It was hard to disguise it when he checked out guys at school. It was a distraction, and Castiel hated distractions. So on Christmas morning, he sat his parents down and told them he was gay. Castiel felt relieved to stop carrying his sexuality around like a secret. His parents were surprised but immediately accepting. Thank God, because bigoted parents was another distraction Castiel was hoping he wouldn't have to deal with. Though when Castiel was thinking about coming out, and imagining all the different scenarios that could come of it (and he thought of many), he failed to think of the one that actually happened. On January 4th, when Castiel came back to school and began coming out to his grade, so did another boy, Dean Winchester. If you laid the grade out in single file from most popular to least, the two boys were on opposite ends. And so was their circle of friends, so it took a few hours of that day for each of their coming out news to cross over. Both Dean and Castiel were there when it happened. It was before science class, minutes before the bell. Everyone was already in their seats ready to start. Two of the loudest girls in the class started talking and giggling. Everyone was chattering around them as well. But when one of them uttered the words "Castiel Novak came out as gay today." a few heads turned. Castiel didn't think much of it. In fact, he thought it was good that people were spreading the news because it meant that he didn't have to. But when the other girl said "Oh my god, so did Dean Winchester" everyone in the class fell dead silent. Castiel's head shot up to find half the people in his class staring at him. The other half were staring at Dean. Dean looked up slowly, and made a half-hearted attempt at a laugh before Mr. Singer walked in just as the bell rang.

Everyone looked forward in silence, except for a few brave souls who kept whispering about what had just happened. Mr. Singer was an intimidating man with a witty tongue. The class went on as usual. But when he announced the semester long research project, everyone groaned, even Castiel. 

"You will be collecting data on any aspect of science you choose that can be safely researched without the internet. Books, however, are permitted." Another wave of groans overcame the room.

"I want you to document your research process. That can be in journal entries, videos, or photos with captions. You will turn in your research documentation, whatever format you choose, to me along with your essay and presentation. You will write an essay summarizing data and put together a presentation that you will present to the class at the end of April. The whole thing is due to me on April 24th. I know it seems like a long while away but this is a large task. Please begin working on it. In class we will continue learning about physics and taking tests as usual, but I will give you the occasional work day for this. But this project will take place mostly outside of class. Oh and did I mention, this is in partners." All the teenagers sighed in relief, except Castiel. Whenever he got paired with someone, they knew he wouldn't let the project go unfinished or done badly, so they would just let him do all the work. "This project will count for 60% of your final grade, so take it seriously. Here are your partners:" Of course they couldn't pick. If Castiel could, he’d pick one of his friends. Castiel only really hung out with people like him, who really only cared about the grades. But now he would probably get shoved with some girl who would work for a little while but get distracted and stop caring. “Kate and Mary.” Two girls squealed from the back. “Mark and Sophie.” One of the loud girls rolled her eyes and blushed.

“Castiel and Dean.” Everyone gasped. A few people even laughed. Mr. Singer pressed on reading off partners, but Castiel tuned it out. Fucking perfect. He got paired with the one guy in the class who really didn’t give a shit about his grades. Some of his friends pretended not to care, but in the end always asked for a little extra credit. Not this guy, he didn’t even carry around books. But Castiel had to address the obvious. They had not only came out on the same day, but were the only two gay guys in their whole grade.

That’s all it took. Everyone in that science class probably thought they were fucking each other. But they weren’t. Castiel barely knew the guy. He was super popular, so everyone knew him to some extent, but besides his name and that he was a careless asshole, Dean Winchester was a stranger to Castiel Novak.

“Take the second half of class to meet with your partner and pick a topic. I’ll come around towards the end of the period to approve it,” Mr. Singer said from the front of the room.

Castiel made eye contact with Dean, probably for the first time ever, as if to say “Which one of us should move?” Dean answered his wordless question when he got up and confidently walked over. He took a seat in the empty desk beside Castiel.

“Hey, Cas right?” Castiel swallowed hard. That nickname was revolting.

“No, Castiel actually.”

“I’ve seen you around and I’m gonna call you Cas.” _Just because you own this damn school doesn't mean you can call me whatever you want._

“Right okay. What topic do you want to research?” Castiel didn’t care what Dean wanted to research, if anything at all. He already knew he wanted to study plant biology. It would be the easiest to research themselves (or himself) and collect data on from old outdated books.

“Whatever you want man.” _Of course, because you won't be doing shit._

“I was thinking plant biology. Does that work for you?”

“How about human biology. You know, studying the body.” Dean said as he looked Castiel up and down. _He’s gonna be eating out of my hand._ One of the drawbacks of coming out was the incredible decrease in hearts Dean could play with. And everyone knew Dean loved playing and eventually breaking hearts. But Dean was tired of faking it with girls. He wanted to at least be attracted to the people he flirted with.

“I don’t think so.” Castiel said dismissing him. _Cute, he thinks he can just flirt with me and I'll melt into his arms._

 “Alright, what’s your topic boys?”

“We’re gonna research plant biology.” Dean said with a grin. _Fine, he’ll take some working at. But he’ll get there._

“Sounds like a fine topic. There’s plenty of woods that are rich with plant life around, so take advantage of that.” Mr. Singer left.

“We should probably get to work right away.” Castiel said as he refocused in.

“Alright, what’s our first course of action, Cas?” _Fine, I’ll bite nerdy boy._

“I was thinking we went to the library after school and find a few subtopics to research in particular. Also, what kind of process journal do you want to keep?”

“I was thinking written down. It just seems the easiest.”

“I agree. I, uh, yeah here. This is blank composition journal we can keep it in.” Castiel carefully wrote on the front:

Castiel Novak and Dean Winchester

Science Research Project

Research Log

“Great!” Dean said with forced enthusiasm. _Who the fuck carries around blank composition notebooks?_

“Right, so meet me in the library after school?”

“I’ll be there.”

The bell rang and that was the end of the worst science class either of the boys had ever been through.

By the end of the day everyone knew that Dean and Castiel were gay. And there was a rumor going around that the two were dating, no doubt started by the people in that morning’s science class. Several people had gone up to Castiel and asked him if the rumor was true, and he told them it wasn’t. Dean did too, but apparently, because they had been keeping this supposed relationship a secret before, people dismissed their statements. Though everyone thinking he was dating someone he wasn’t did piss him off, it didn’t piss Castiel off nearly as much as the fact that it was Dean Winchester. This pissed him off for two reasons:

  1. He was the one boy who Castiel would never consider dating.

  2. If it was Castiel and another one of the lower spectrum boys, this thing would’ve blown over by lunch. But because it was with Dean, everyone cared and no one would shut up about it.




Castiel predicted it’d be days before things calmed down. When Castiel found himself thinking about the situation in math class instead of taking notes, he immediately categorized the whole thing as a distraction and put it away into the back of his mind. He imagined Dean was loving the attention. If Castiel was getting this much, he couldn’t imagine how many people had spoken to Dean.

Castiel got up smoothly from his seat in history and took his time packing up his things. He was in no rush to meet with Dean. Part of him hoped he wouldn’t even be there. But Castiel knew that even Dean’s low quality work would be better than no work at all, and he had to put his personal thoughts out of it. None the less, Castiel still took the long way to the library. As he walked in, he scanned the lower level for Dean. He wasn’t there. Castiel knew he should move to the table on the second floor that was near the biology section. But that was the only table on the second level, and it was buried in between two tall shelves. For some reason, Castiel didn’t want to be alone with Dean. Castiel told himself he was being immature but he remained on the first floor.

Dean sauntered through the door and over to Castiel.

“Hey Cas. Why are you down here? I may not come to the library a lot, but I know the 2nd floor is about science.”

“I mean we aren’t going to be doing a lot of research today anyway..” Castiel attempted.

“Cas, don’t be stupid. Come on let’s go.” Dean picked up a few of Castiel’s books and started up the stairs, taking them two at a time.

“Yeah, because you’re so worried about being productive.” Castiel muttered under his breath.

“Alright here’s a table.” Dean said as he placed Castiel’s books down on the one small table that was their only option. _Hope he’s up for some footsie. Damn, it's like God wants me to make him fall in love with me._

 


	2. I Just Want Him

Castiel sat down hesitantly across from Dean. He opened up his composition journal and wrote in neat capital letters:

Day 1, January 4

“Ok so, uh, I guess what interests you about plant biology?” _Probably nothing._

“I was thinking we could maybe talk a bit about trees. You know, like about their functions and how their age affects how effectively they carry out those functions. We could, like, study a tiny little tree all the way up to those huge ass old ones upstate.”

“Yeah, that’s a great topic. Easy enough to research and we wouldn’t have to rely too much on these dusty books. We can identify about 5 functions to keep track of and find maybe 7 trees to track.”

_Who the fuck is this guy? If he can think of a flawless research topic in 5 seconds, why does he dumb himself down?_

And Dean continued to impress Castiel for the rest of that afternoon. They were working diligently developing their project and identifying different variables. Castiel was happy Dean hadn’t tried any funny business despite their close proximity and the high shelves surrounding them. But Dean’s professional demeanor lasted until about 5 p.m. They both had gotten a lot more work done than they actually needed to and they were ahead of schedule.

“Damn, you know how to work don’t you Dean Winchester.” _I’m not flirting, I’m not flirting, I’m not flirting._

Dean looked up. _Is he flirting?_

“Yeah, I guess. I don’t normally but when I do, its pretty legit.”

“Right maybe we should go ahead and write in what we did today.” As Castiel reached over Dean’s arm to grab the composition notebook, their hands brushed. Castiel immediately leaned back without the notebook. _That, uh, oh God. Now he thinks I’m falling for his bullshit._

Dean looked down at his hands and chuckled. “Right ok, we should.” Dean handed Castiel the notebook. _God damn, so academic work is the way to this guy’s heart._ Who would’ve thought.

Castiel shook off what just happened and started writing in their progress. Dean put his foot next to Castiel’s. The act was incredibly small compared to the shit Dean normally pulled. When the only reaction he got from Castiel was a deep breath, he was unsatisfied. Dean pushed against Castiel’s foot and nudged his toe underneath the hem of his blue jeans. Dean’s face read as nonchalant, but he was incredibly focused on what he was doing. Castiel didn’t even acknowledge the act. He just moved his foot away as he shut the notebook.

“I think we’ve done enough in the past two hours to keep us on schedule for the rest of the week. We’ve set up data tables. So all we really need to do is actually research.” Castiel knew exactly what that entailed. They had to go upstate to the thick woods. That was about a two hours drive away. _Fuck, I don’t wanna go on a road trip with this asshole._

“Right.” _Oh my god, a road trip, perfect._ “We’ll have to drive upstate. I only get my license at the end of this month. What about you?”

“I got mine in August. I can drive us.” _I’ll just focus on the road, put on some music and pretend he’s not there._

“Cool. We can leave in the morning and come back at night. Maybe Sunday?”

“I can pick you up at 8. Where do you live?” _Yeah, ok, Cas. Be a little more creepy. Wait, why do I care, and when did I start calling myself Cas?_

“I live on the corner of Grandview and Oak.” Dean stood up and walked away without another word. _Keep ‘em guessing. Always keep ‘em guessing._

For the rest of the week the two boys didn’t talk. Mr. Singer didn’t give them any in-class work days. And, to Castiel’s surprise, the dating rumor died down. When they saw each other in the hall, Dean stared him down. Castiel always pretended to be preoccupied with something to avoid making eye contact.

Finally, Sunday rolled around. Castiel woke up already dreading having to spend two hours holed up in a car with Dean Winchester of all people. But, nonetheless, his hate towards Dean was a distraction. And Castiel chose to ignore it just like he did all of his other distractions.

Castiel’s parents briefly hesitated to lend him the car to drive all the way upstate, but they took little convincing. Castiel drove to Dean’s, listening to some bullshit radio on the way. When he pulled into Dean’s driveway, Dean was already on the front porch waiting for him.

“Sorry am I late?” Castiel asked.

“No, its just 8 now.”

“Okay, well let’s hit the road.” Castiel reached over to the radio and turned up the volume.

“What the fuck man. Don’t tell me this is the shit music you’re into.” _I’ll give up on this whole thing right now if it is._

“No, its just what happened to be on. This dinosaur of a car doesn’t have an aux cord.” _Now he thinks I like this mainstream crap. Damnit. Wait, no I don’t care what he thinks of me. Right?_

“I refuse to listen to this. I would ask us to turn around to grab some of my CD’s but we're already on the highway.” Dean turned off the radio, leaving the car in silence.

“So what do you normally listen to then?” _Even conversation with him is better than silence._

“I normally listen to classic rock. And lots of it. What about you?” _Did he just start up a conversation? This kid is doing my job for me._

“John Mayer is more my speed. I like acoustic singer-songwriter stuff.” _Ok, fine, I’ll bite rocker boy._

“Yeah, I like his stuff. Not my favorite artist but I can acknowledge talent.” Castiel nodded but didn’t know where to take the conversation next. They both slid into awkward silence.

Dean looked out the window. _Damnit, anything but silence._

Castiel refocused on the road. _Damnit, anything but silence._

Dean sat there uncomfortably until he had an idea. How did he not think of this before, it was an old trick he’d used on tons of girls. He’d be lying if he said that doing it to a guy for the first time didn’t make him nervous, but he went on nonetheless. Dean uncrossed his arms and placed his left hand on the center console. He slowly creeped it towards Castiel until his fingertips were touching the edge of the seat. In one burst of courage he lifted his hand and placed on Cas’ shoulder and started rubbing.

“What the hell man!” Castiel shrugged Dean’s hand off. _What the fuck does he think he’s doing?_

Dean pressed on. It wasn’t the reaction he was expecting. Most girls leaned into his touch.

“You’re tense. Come on. We still have an hour and 45 before we get upstate. Give me something to do.” _Just let me touch you._

“No. It's weird. Just cause we're both gay doesn’t mean you can just reach over and start rubbing my shoulders.” _You’re gonna have to do better than that Winchester._

Dean gave up. He looked at Castiel’s face. It was the first time he really observed it and took in all the details. Cas had a strong jawline, and somehow managed to grow a little stubble even though he was just 16. He had this dark hair that always seemed to be messed up in the perfect way. It always looks like he’s just had the best sex of his life. Dean’s eyes trailed down to his lips. His lips were round and pink. Even though it was cold outside they still looked flush. Finally Dean looked at Cas’ eyes. His eyes were easily the star of it all. They looked like God himself had set sapphires into Castiel’s face. They practically glowed.

Castiel noticed Dean looking at him. “Do you mind?”

“No, you’re just so pretty.” Dean said as he reached over and ran his hands through that sex hair.

“Hey cut it out, man. I told you, not interested.” _He does not know how to be subtle does he?_

“Yeah, whatever.” Dean looked ahead and the drive kept going in silence. _I’m gonna teach this guy to lighten up._

“So what’s the game plan when we get there?” _Don’t let yourself get distracted._   _It's all just noise._

“I was thinking we find trees that are all in the same area. You know, to make it easy in the long term.”

“Good plan.” Dean put his hand back on the middle console.

“If you try that shit again, I swear to God.”

“Oh you mean like this.” Dean boldly put his hand around Castiel’s thigh.

“Stop it Dean. I said stop. Geez.” He grabbed Dean’s hand and threw it back at him. Dean noticed it wasn’t that playful do it again attitude. It was genuine annoyance. _What the fuck is up with this guy. I just want to break his heart. But I can’t do that when he has no interest in giving it to me._

Most girls threw their heart at Dean without asking for anything in return. This was taking a lot more effort than Dean was willing to give. But for some reason, he kept trying to get Castiel’s attention.

For the rest of the drive, Dean poked Cas, shoved him, pretended to ignore him, messed with the stick, and even went so far as to messing up the glove box. But Castiel just sat there, with his eyes on the road and his jaw clenched. He only occasionally said “Stop it,” or “Put that back.” Dean felt like a child trying to get an adult’s attention. And he hated that. Instead of Cas eating out of his hand, it was the other way around. _I shouldn’t care. I don’t even like him._

Once they reached the edge of the forest Castiel parked the car. There were hiking trails that ran all through these woods but it was the middle of the winter so the parking lot was empty. Dean climbed out of the car. Castiel got out slowly. The two boys made eye contact over the car. And just that was enough for Dean. _I don’t wanna break this boy’s heart. I just want his heart. I just want him._

Dean had liked plenty of people before. But that was before he came out. So he couldn’t really act on those feelings. In fact, Dean had never had a genuine kiss in his whole life. He had kissed plenty of girls before (and done more), but it didn’t mean anything. It was all a show he put on to deal with his dad. But when his dad died of alcohol poisoning in November he had no reason to hide who he was anymore. His mother and his brother were both the sweetest people in the world who made him feel nothing other than accepted and loved. But now he was here standing with another gay boy who he decided he actually wanted. And Dean was used to getting what he wanted.

Castiel broke eye contact and moved to open the back door to grab his backpack. But before he could he got spun around and his body got pressed against the car. He realized it was Dean pushing up against him. Their faces were inches apart and Dean was quickly closing that distance until Castiel pushed him off.

“Dean! Stop! Just stop!” _Why can’t he just let this go._ “Let’s just get to work okay?” Dean leaned against the car and tried his hardest not to look disappointed. Castiel ignored him and walked into the woods.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! Chapter 2! Please let me know if you liked it. Thank you for reading!


	3. So I Can Fucking Kiss You

Castiel had barely made it onto the trail when he realized he had forgotten to grab his bag. He awkwardly walked back to the car. Dean was still leaning against it, looking hurt.

“Dean, come on.” _I need you to do work. You were doing so good before._

“You know what man? I don’t even care.” _Fuck him. I don’t need this. I’ll just go confuse some straight boy instead._

“Yes you do. We need to work in this together. I’m not doing this whole thing on my own.” _So now that he doesn’t think he has a chance, he’s gonna be a lazy ass._

“Alright fine. If you’re gonna be difficult and not do shit after today, it’s fine with me. I’m willing to put in the hours. But stop being childish. We drove all the way out here, so you may as well do something.”

Dean looked up. “I am not childish.”

“Okay, maybe you’re not. Prove it.” Castiel grabbed his back and slung it over one shoulder. He walked back towards the trail, confident Dean would follow him. And soon enough, Castiel heard Dean take a deep breath and jog up to him.

They walked along the trail, keeping the talking to an absolute minimum. They reached the really old part of the forest soon enough. And Castiel was pretty mesmerized.

“It’s gorgeous,” Castiel said as he looked up at the low-hanging branches of the old maple trees. Dean grunted in response.

“Okay, Dean calm down. Don’t get too excited,” Castiel said sarcastically. _Not flirting. You didn’t just go through all that trouble just to start flirting with him._

“Yeah well I just wanna get the work done and leave, alright?” _I swear to God, if he just put us through all that trouble of drawing boundaries just to step over them…_

Castiel dropped his bag down to the ground and pulled out the project folder, process journal, and some neon plastic ties. “Right so each tree has its own color. You tie, I’ll write.” Dean just nodded and grabbed the ties.

Dean set off, tying trees as he went. Castiel tried to keep up, but soon he was following the ties, not Dean. Once Dean had tied off every tree they needed, he walked back to Cas.

“Right so, does that cover it?” _Please let this be over._

“We still have to test out the functions.”

Dean groaned. Then he remembered he was trying to prove a point and covered up the groan with a cough. Castiel pretended not to notice. _Prove me wrong, Dean. Be an adult._

Castiel did that a lot for the next two hours. Every time Dean groaned, rolled his eyes, or said something under his breath, Castiel pretended not to have seen. Castiel wanted to kiss someone just as much as the next 16 year old, but he wasn’t so desperate that he could just ignore how immature Dean was. He just sailed through life, never aiming for anything higher than what was readily available. But the more the two boys were together, the harder it was for Cas to put his personal judgements over Dean’s jaw line, or his perfectly cropped hair, or his green eyes. _Those damn eyes. Why can’t you just grow up, Dean. Grow up so I can fucking kiss you._

 Once the work was finished, the two boys walked back to the car. Dean walked a few a paces ahead, just so that he didn’t have to address Castiel in any way.

They made it to the car around midday, and immediately as they both sat down their stomachs grumbled loudly. Neither of the boys had any interest in spending more time with the other than necessary, and Castiel didn’t address the issue of lunch. But, to his surprise, Dean had other ideas.

“There’s this diner about halfway down the highway, and they have some of the best pie I’ve ever tasted.” _I don’t want to bond with you. And this is certainly not me asking you on a date. But pie._

“I don’t really know if I want to stop.” _I don’t want to stop. No part of me wants to stop._ Castiel’s stomach growled louder than it ever had.

 “Right. I don’t want to hang out with you either. But I haven’t been to that diner since my brother’s birthday last year. That’s too long to go without good pie.”

 “You have a brother?” _What why did I ask that? I don’t want to get to know this guy._

 “Yeah, Sammy. Well, I call him Sammy. He goes by Sam. He’s kind of like you.” _Except a whole hell of a lot less cute. No, frustrating. Less frustrating. Because this dick in the driver’s seat isn’t cute. Not at all._

 “What grade is he in?” _STOP ASKING QUESTIONS_

“Seventh. He’s been working really hard. The kid wants to be a lawyer.” _And I’m sure he can do it, too._

 “What about you, what do you want to be?” _WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU CASTIEL!_

 “I wanted to be an engineer for a while last year. But I think I’m headed down the mechanic route up to this point.”

 “Cool.” _Not cool. Try Dean. Just try._

 Castiel pulled into the diner. They sat at the bar, shoulder to shoulder. They didn’t even have to look at each other.

 “Hey, pretty lady. Can I get a burger?” Dean winked at the waitress behind the bar. Castiel’s insides turned.

 “Me too, please.” The waitress nodded her head and walked away, putting on a little show with her hair. Dean didn’t even look her way.

 It felt awkward not to talk, but no one really felt like talking. Castiel pushed against Dean’s shoulder with his own. He didn’t even know why he did it. But it was the smallest bit of pressure, barely noticeable. But Dean did notice. And he pushed back in response. Dean didn’t even know why he did it. But for some reason, it made them both feel more at ease. When the burgers arrived, they moved apart. But that tiny exchange put both of them a little bit at ease. They ate lunch in silence. Dean slapped a 20 on the counter after he had eaten two slices of rhubarb pie.

 On the drive home, they discussed their project. All business. But once they got on the topic of school, they didn’t get off it. They discussed their opinions of teachers, other students, certain classes, and then they moved onto judging couples.

 “Man, I swear he doesn’t even like her,” Dean laughed.

 “Yeah, but she chases after him everyday. And she cried when he asked her to his prom.”

 “I think the whole thing is fake.”

 “You know, I would never want something like that.”

 “Me either. If I found a guy who I liked I would just tell him. Hell I’d kiss him. All of these mind games these people play with each other are all so stupid.”

 “Dean, all you do is play mind games.”

 “What? No I don’t.”

 “Ha! That’s funny. Before you came out you had every girl in the school analyzing every word you said.” _And now you have me doing the same thing._

 “Whatever.” _I thought I had you doing the same thing._

 Castiel dropped Dean off at his house. Dean climbed out of the car but poked his head back in.

 “See you around, Cas.”

 “Yeah, see you around Dean.” They both tried hard to make it sound final, but they both felt like it was some sort of beginning. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3! Huge thanks to my friend coolcarryondestiel (on tumblr) for proof reading. Let me know if you enjoyed! Thanks for reading!


	4. And It Was Amazing

The two boys had no reason to talk outside of their project. And yet Castiel desperately wanted to speak to Dean again. He went from avoiding Dean’s eyes in the halls to actively searching for them. But Dean seemed to have disappeared. He was in science class everyday, but when he left the classroom at the end of the period he would grab one of his friends and disappear. It was as though Dean was deliberately avoiding Castiel. Things continued like this until Wednesday, when Castiel was in the library as usual studying for an English test when he heard furious not-so-whispering coming from the historical fiction section. Castiel put down Macbeth and turned his attention to eavesdropping.

“No. I said no. I’m not gonna pull that crap.”

“Come on, Dean-o. You know it would be fun. That nerd wouldn’t even see it coming. And you might even get a little ass out of it.”

“You’re an asshole, Gabriel. Sometimes I really wonder why the hell I’m friends with such a dick.”

“You’re no fun. Just make a relationship with him, ask him to the spring formal, and then leave the rest is up to me, the Trickster!”

“If you ever call yourself that again, I’ll fucking kill you. I won’t even hesitate for a second, I’ll snap your neck.”

“Alright, alright, fine. But come on, my idea is legendary.”

“I said no. Yes he’s a jackass and yes he’s annoying but he doesn’t deserve that. Now get the hell out of my way.” _He’s adorable, and his blue eyes kill me, and he doesn’t deserve that._

 Dean pushed Gabriel into some Tolstoy and walked out into the center of the library.

Then he saw Castiel. Right there. Sitting right there with his jaw wide open looking right at Dean. Their eyes met and Dean tried to move towards the door but Castiel wasn’t going to let that happen.

“Hey, Dean. Thanks for that. Gabriel’s been trying to mess with me for a long time now and he doesn’t get many opportunities.”

“He’s kind of an idiot, and normally he doesn’t mean harm but this time he was just being plain malicious. I don’t really think you...umm.. deserve that.” _He heard everything. Every last word. And now I’m making it sound like I’m in love with the guy._

“Right, and I’m sure I deserve to be called a jackass and annoying too huh?” _No, why’d I say that. Shit. I’m not mad at him. I just want him to stay. I just want him to spend time with me. I just want him to like me._

 “Hey man, so do I. We all have a bit of annoying jackass in us.” _I’m just gonna walk out and pretend this wasn’t the most mortifying experience of my life and walk out._ And he did without even a look in the other direction.

And Castiel felt disappointed. _No, this is wrong. This is all so fucked up. Since when do I seek out approval from anyone besides teachers. Since when do I give a fuck what anyone thinks about what I say or what I do. Since when did I start loving the color green. Since when do put down all my studying in a heartbeat just to catch a few words out of someone’s mouth. It’s so incredibly wrong and mixed up. But I don’t want to stop._

Dean wanted to forget Castiel. Dean wanted for Castiel to disappear. But not because he was annoying or stuck up or stupid. He wanted Castiel to disappear because he made Dean crazy. Every moment of everyday was spent thinking about those blue eyes and telling himself he shouldn’t. Every moment of everyday Dean had to invest energy into avoiding Castiel and telling himself that was what he wanted to do. But when Dean was honest with himself, and that was rare, he wanted nothing more than to kiss Castiel and look into those blue eyes right up close. _Castiel isn’t interested. And I can’t handle being around Cas and knowing I can’t have him._

The next morning, Mr. Singer gave them an in-class workday on their project.

“You should really all have your research set up by now for data. But if you don’t, here’s your opportunity to get that done with your partner. If you have that done, congrats, you’re ahead. That doesn’t mean you sit there scrolling on Twitter or whatever the hell. At least go sit with your partner and pretend to do something.”

Dean looked down at his desk to avoid eye contact. _Fuck._

Castiel looked down at his hands to avoid eye contact. _Fuck._

The whole class adjusted to sit with their partner. Everyone moved the desks to face each other. Except Castiel and Dean. Mr. Singer noticed.

“Castiel, unlike you to not jump on the opportunity to do work.”

“Yes, sir. But myself and my partner have already tagged our research subjects and conducted the first round of data collection.”

“You’re certainly ahead, but that doesn’t mean you can’t continue to work with each other.” Mr. Singer turned toward Dean at the back of the room. Dean looked up and saw the back of Castiel’s head and Mr. Singer staring at him.

“Hey Mr. Singer.” _Casual. Please don’t make me sit with him. I’m scared of what I’ll say. Or what I'll do._

“Why don’t you come up here and sit with your partner?”

“You see sir, we’ve already completed-” Mr. Singer cut him off.

“Your partner already tried that. Come on.” Mr. Singer slapped the desk next to Cas.

Dean stood up slowly and made sure to take his sweet time walking to the front of the room. He kept his eyes on the whiteboard, but he could feel Castiel’s gaze on him. Once he sat down, Mr. Singer gave a satisfied huff of approval and went back to his desk.

No one said anything. Castiel wasn’t even doing any work. They both just sat there with there hands in their laps looking the other way. The girls sitting behind them noticed and started whispering, and the boys caught the words “dating” and “in a fight.” That was all they needed. They could each speculate and feel anxious about their relationship but only them, no one else could.

“Wanna work in the hall?” Dean suggested.

“Yeah.”

They walked out and sat side by side on some lockers.

“We’re way ahead. I have no idea what we should do,” Castiel said. _That’s a lie. I have some ideas…_

“Me either,” _I know what I want to do. But unless you do it first, I won’t._

Castiel put his hand on his own knee. Dean’s knee was a few centimeters away. Castiel looked down a few seconds later and saw his hand on Dean’s knee and Dean looking down at it. Castiel didn’t even feel himself do it.

“Uh. Oh God sorry. I.. it was an accident.” Castiel removed his hand uncomfortably. _Am I incapable of being near him without fucking violating his body?_

Then Dean shocked Castiel and grabbed his hand and held it. _What is he doing?!_

Dean laced their fingers together and rested the hand-holding arrangement on his knee. _What am I doing?!_

The two boys sat there, both of them trying their hardest to keep from looking at each other or shifting positions.

By the end of the period, both boys were stiff and uncomfortable against the hard metal lockers.

_He held my hand. And it was amazing._

_I held his hand. And it was amazing._

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ch. 4! Here's a bit of angsty fluff for you. I hope you liked Gabriel's little cameo. Thanks for reading and let me know if you enjoyed!


	5. I Have Plans Tonight

Dean knew he had deliberately made a move, but so had Castiel, right? _No, actually he didn’t. He said the whole hand on knee thing was a mistake. I made a move after he showed no signs of wanting it, again. But, oh my god, was it worth it._

Dean promised himself yet again that if anything like that was to happen between himself and Castiel again, it would be because Castiel made a perfectly obvious move that couldn’t be read as anything else.

Castiel knew that Dean had made a move, and it wasn’t the first time. But this time there was nothing behind it, no hidden agenda. Dean had tried before to make moves on Castiel, but that was always because he wanted a heart to break. Even his attempt at a kiss felt desperate and awkward. _But when he held my hand, god, I could’ve sworn he really wanted me. It felt genuine._

That Friday felt weird. It was easy to avoid each other. But they didn’t. After science class, Castiel waited for Dean at the door and they walked down the hall together. At break, they went to the cafeteria together and talked to some of Dean’s friends. Castiel left early to talk to a teacher and Gabriel told Dean he thought Cas was actually pretty cool. Even the harder to impress members of the group like Charlie and Garth told Dean to invite Cas to eat with them on the blacktop during lunch. Dean felt like Castiel had just been somehow initiated into his group, which weirded him out. Castiel was like his secret, the one person Dean tried very hard to keep his feelings for very quiet.

At lunch, Dean walked to Castiel’s locker after fourth period to grab him before lunch, but he wasn’t there. Dean walked around the school, until he found Castiel in the cafeteria, with a book in his hand and headphones in his ears.

“Hey, I’ve been looking everywhere for you. What are you listening to?”

“Kansas.”

“Yes! What song?”

“It’s about some son who really needs to carry on.”

“Carry on My Wayward Son? Classic.”

Castiel checked his phone. “Yeah, that’s the one. Anyway, what do you need?” _And there it is. That look he gives me every damn time. His eyes looking right at me, his brows furrowed, his whole face scrunched into this perfect burst of adorable confusion. He’s so ready to help. So ready to do anything he can._

“I don’t need anything. I was just wondering if you wanted to eat lunch with me on the blacktop.”

“Yeah, okay.”

“Cool.”

“Wait, Dean. Do your friends even like me?”

“They love you. Don’t worry about it.”

“Good. I like them. Right, let’s go.”

Castiel knew Dean hung out with some bottom feeders, but a lot of his friends were actually really intelligent people. Charlie and Castiel had a heated discussion about better ways The Odyssey could have ended the whole lunch. Dean loved watching people slowly see more in Castiel than a grade-obsessed asshole, just like he had.

After lunch, Castiel realized he had no reason to see Dean for the next 2 days. They were well ahead on their science project, and that was about the only reason they should be together on weekends. If Castiel and Dean were to see each other this weekend, it would have to be because one of them took the initiative to make that happen. _I don’t know what I’ll do if I can’t see that fucking smile for 48 hours. I’m not gonna let that happen._

“Hey Dean, wait a second.”

“Yeah?” Dean turned to face Cas.

“This weekend, maybe I could see you?” _Oh my god, it’s happening. I just asked Dean out. How did I get here?_

_“You mean like, hang out?” Did he just ask me out?_

“Yeah, hang out. We could go see a movie.” _See a movie? I’m so lame. He’s gonna say no. Damnit._

“Yes. Let’s do it.” _That’s an obvious move if I’ve ever seen one. Yes, Cas, 100 times yes._

“As friends?” Castiel looked at his feet. _No part of me wants to be just friends._

“No, not as friends.” _No part of me wants to be just friends._

The bell rang and Castiel moved away. Dean grabbed his arm before he could go too far.

“I just realized I don’t have your number.”

“Here.” Castiel grabbed the pen Dean was holding and scribbled his number out on the palm of Dean’s hand.

“Thanks. I’ll text you.”

And that was it. The boys didn’t see each other for the rest of the day. But both of them were happy with knowing they were going to see each other again, and soon.

That Saturday, Dean woke up at 1 p.m. He shoved himself out of bed and went downstairs. Sam was on the couch reading a book.

“Hey Sammy. What’s up?”

“Nothing. I’m reading this lore book on witches. It’s so interesting.”

“I never understood why you were into that shit.”

“Hey! Language!” Mary called from her office.

“I thought you had gone out. Listen, I have plans later tonight so I can’t babysit Sam.”

“Okay, come in here.” Dean walked into his mom’s office. It was the most pristine room in the house. It had to be, because it was there that she attended to clients. Dean’s mom was a psychologist and she ran a therapy business from inside their home.

“I’m meeting up with a friend for a movie. I won’t be around.”

“What friend?”

“A friend.” _Of course she’s not gonna let this go._

“A boy? It’s fine if it’s a boy.”

“Yes, okay Mom? It’s a boy from school, and I really want to go so please don’t make me babysit Sammy tonight.” _Castiel is so much more than a boy from school._

“Okay, you can go. How are you gonna get there?”

“I was gonna walk. Were probably going to the theater on Main.”

“I can give you a ride.”

“No, Mom, it’s fine. I’ll walk.” _She just wants to see Cas. Not yet Mary._

Dean walked into the kitchen and chugged some orange juice right out of the jug. He looked down at his hands and smiled. There it was, Castiel’s number scrawled out lazily in blue pen. Dean ran up the stairs to his room and sat on his bed with his phone in hand. He typed Castiel’s number into a new contact and poised himself to write the perfect text.

Castiel woke up on Saturday at 8 a.m. He stayed in bed for a while though, scrolling on his phone. Dean hadn’t texted him yet, but Castiel knew better than to work himself up. When Castiel heard his parents shuffling around, he went downstairs.

“Good morning Mom.”

“Good morning honey. There’s cereal in the pantry. Your father and I are going out to buy some things for the house. Do you want to come?’

“Not really. But I have plans tonight.” _At least I hope._

“Okay, with who?”

“A guy from school.” _Dean is so much more than a guy from school._

“Well, what are your plans specifically? You know how I feel about you driving at night.”

“We’re just going to to the movies. I won’t even go on the highway.”

“Alright, fine. What time do you need the car?”

“Uh, I don’t really know. Maybe 7 or 8.”

“I don’t like how vague this all is. But okay, the car will be here by 7. What time are you going to be back?”

“Probably 10 or 11.” Castiel’s dad honked from outside and his mother slung her bag over her shoulder.

“Okay, my love. Have a good day. Text me if you go anywhere.”

Castiel sat on the couch, reveling in the silence of the house. He closed his eyes and soon found himself drifting off.

Castiel woke up to his phone buzzing loudly at 1:30.

D-Hey Cas. We still on for tonight?

Castiel responded immediately.

C-Yes. Where and when?

D-I was thinking the theater on Main. They're always playing something.

C- Cool, that works. What time?

D-Let’s meet at the front at 7:30?

C-Sounds good.

D-See you then Cas.

Dean got up from his bed and realized just how hard he had been gripping his phone that whole time.

Castiel drove up to the theater and parked the car as best he could for having his license for a few months. He saw Dean, sitting on a bench looking around. Cas got out of the car and went over to Dean, standing in front of him.

“Hi Dean.”

“Hey Cas.” _How is it that he isn’t even smiling and yet he looks so goddamn adorable._

They bought tickets to a comedy that had started 15 minutes ago.

The theater was empty except for a middle aged couple sitting in the first few rows and a little kid with his dad sitting in the very front seats, the ones where you have to break your neck to watch the movie.

Dean took Castiel’s hand and guided him to the back row, where there was no one.

Castiel looked down at their clasped hands and his heart fluttered. _This is all very new to me._

Dean looked behind him at Castiel’s face that had turned a bright shade of red. Then Cas licked his lips and butterflies erupted in Dean’s stomach.

They settled into their seats and actually laughed along to the movie for about 20 minutes. Dean kept his hands to himself, keeping true to the promise he had made.

Then he felt Castiel’s hand brush his. Then his arm was being tugged onto the armrest and Castiel clasped Dean’s hand in his own. They sat like that for 20 minutes, just holding hands. Castiel looked up at Dean’s face what felt like 1,000 time to make sure he still looked happy. He still looked happy, but he didn’t look like he was anywhere near about to move the physical contact forward.

_Okay, Dean Winchester. Fuck it. And fuck your mind games. I want this, and I’m gonna get it._

Castiel took his other hand and gently pulled Dean’s face toward him. Dean looked at him surprised for a moment, but when he realized what was going on, he smiled and let go of Castiel’s hand to grab hold of his shoulder. It felt like everything was moving in slow motion.

Castiel grabbed Dean’s face with both hands and pulled him in. _Yes. This is what I want._

Dean put his hands on Castiel’s back and gave into his pull. _Yes. This is what I want._

In the darkness of that theater at about 8:12 on a Saturday night, blue crashed with green and two boys stopped thinking and acted.

The kiss lasted only a few seconds. Their lips clashed a few times, Castiel ran his hands through Dean’s hair, Dean ran his hands up a small section of Castiel’s back, and then it was over. Just like that. The cosmic heat of that moment was just sucked up into the air in an instant. They sat through the rest of the movie, the air between them hot and thick.

Castiel and Dean went home, their blue and green eyes smiling with the rest of their face.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ch. 5!!! I can't believe I've written 5 chapters already. I love writing this story so much. Thank you for all the lovely comments. Feel free to let me know what you want to see happen. I'm totally open to suggestions. Most importantly, thank you for reading!


	6. I Want To Be Your Boyfriend

Castiel didn’t know what he and Dean were. They had definitely gone on a date, and it had definitely gone well, but no one had formally asked anyone to be anything. So when he walked into school on Monday morning and saw Dean leaning against the door to some classroom looking at his phone, Castiel had no idea what to do. _Should I approach him? Should I walk right by? Should I say hi?_

Castiel did none of those things. Instead, he turned on his heels and went the long way to his locker before Dean even got a chance to look up. Why did I do that?

 

Castiel wasn’t the only one who was confused. Dean spent his lunch looking for Dean and yet hoping he wouldn’t find him. Dean wanted to kiss Cas again, he wanted to hold Castiel’s hand. Dean wanted to talk to Castiel on a rooftop at 2 am. Dean wanted to grab Castiel and know everything about him. But there was something else there. A rumble of doubt that made Dean wonder if he was giving too much too fast. Or that maybe Castiel didn’t want anything from him at all. So when Dean finally found Castiel in the cafeteria buying food, he turned around and went to the blacktop.

By the end of the day, Dean and Castiel’s eyes hadn’t even met.

Dean looked at the back of Castiel’s head from across the science room. Mr. Singer was blabbing about some formula, and Castiel was, of course, intently taking notes. Dean looked at the board. I will never, ever, use any of this shit. the back of Castiel’s head is a lot prettier. And sure enough, his green eyes trailed back down. It all happened very quickly.

Castiel could feel eyes on him, and he was almost sure they were Dean’s. _I can’t take this anymore. He hasn’t talked to me at all today. DO YOU WANT ME OR NOT?_

Dean continued to stare at Castiel. Why hasn’t he spoken to me today? What did I do wrong. I thought he was into this.

Then Dean had an idea. If they couldn’t just talk like real people, they could text. No face to face confrontation. No distracting blue eyes. No soft pink lips. _I need to know what I am to him._

Castiel felt his phone buzz. On any other day, he would ignore it and continue taking notes. But something made him feel like he needed to look. Like the contents of that text message were much more important than Newton’s Law. So Castiel set his binder up in such a way where Mr. Singer couldn’t really see what Castiel was doing, and he pulled out his phone.

D:What are we?

C:What do you mean?

D:I mean what are we?

C:I still don’t understand what you’re trying to find out.

D:I wanna find out if I should shake your hand, give you a hug, kiss you, or just walk on by when I see you. I wanna find out if were a thing, or just friends, or enemies.

C:Well we’re certainly not enemies. And I would hope that you would kiss me. _That was risky._

 

D:Duly noted.

Dean was expecting a response until Cas raised his hand and asked to go to the bathroom. Dean slumped over, annoyed. He hadn’t gotten his answer. It was only when Castiel have him a whole 5 seconds of side eye as he was leaving that Dean understood.

Dean waited a few minutes before politely asking to leave the room. Mr. Singer grunted a reply and went back to drawing some complicated diagram.

Dean was excited as he walked down the hall to the bathroom. What was going to happen? What did Castiel have to say that was so urgent it required a weird secret bathroom meeting. When he opened the door, he was immediately pulled into Dean’s arms.

“You drive me fucking insane, you know that?”

“Cas what-” Castiel kissed Dean as hard as he could.

Castiel wrapped his hand around the nape of Dean’s neck. He didn’t have to pull too much to close the gap between them. Dean desperately pulled at Castiel’s waist, trying hard to bring their bodies as close together as possible. Castiel kissed Dean’s cheeks, his chin, eventually making it to his mouth. Every patch of skin Dean left behind felt hot with his breath.

Dean’s hand cupped Castiel’s jaw as he pushed him into another wall, the force pushing Dean’s lips into Castiel. Castiel opened his mouth. Dean opened his.

“Boyfriend” Castiel gasped between kisses. “I want to be your boyfriend.”

With that, Cas let go of Dean and walked back to class, his lips swollen.

Dean stood in the bathroom for a minute or two, dumbfounded by what had just happened. _Castiel wants me to be his boyfriend. He wants to be my boyfriend. And he just made out with me. Damn that’s hot._

\---

And that was how their life went. They were openly a couple in school. They kissed and held hands and talked endlessly. Castiel met Mary and everything felt very much like the end of a story. But then April rolled around.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so excited about catching up the story during winter break. I already have so many ideas for what's going to happen next, but that doesn't mean I'm not open to suggestions. Thank you for reading :)


	7. I Can't Be Resisted

 

Castiel and Dean were so happy. They spent February and March learning about each other and spending everyday together. Charlie quickly became one of Castiel’s best friends, and Dean loved hanging out with the two of them. Castiel would come over to Dean’s house after school and they would study together. Dean’s grades were the best they had ever been, and Castiel’s influence played a big part in that. Needless to say Mary loved Castiel.

Sometimes Castiel and Dean didn’t have a lot of work to do. So Dean would shut his bedroom door and him and Cas just sat on Dean’s bed and talked and kissed. These were the moments the two of them treasured the most. It was just them, exploring each other’s minds.

Not bodies though. Castiel made it clear what his boundaries were. No below the waist contact. And Dean respected that. To some extent. Dean got easily carried away when they made out. Sometimes his hand would just do its thing, and Castiel would get pissed. Normally it didn’t take much to calm Cas down and make him stay.

But Dean would be lying if he said he didn’t think about sex. A lot. He was a teenage boy who had lived the first 15 years of his life feeling frustrated. Now he knew who he wanted to fuck, and thinking about it was inevitable. Then a new girl came into town.

Dean was sitting in English class, frustrated over some analysis questions. Then she walked in. Ms. Rowena introduced her to the class.

“This is Amara. She joined our grade a bit late, but she’s just moved into town and I should hope you all make her feel comfortable and welcome.”

Dean looked at her. Ms. Rowena always gave that little speech when a new kid joined her class. Most of them squirmed and looked uncomfortable. But not Amara. She looked calm and collected. She stood tall and relaxed. And Dean struggled to ignore the extremely low cut black dress the girl was wearing. Amara looked dangerous. But Dean liked it.  _Wait, what the fuck? No. Gross. Weird._

And yet Dean’s eyes still followed behind Amara as she made her way to a seat in the back of the room. She had this energy around her, it was thick and seductive. But Dean could only think of one word to describe this new girl. Darkness. And Dean was falling into that darkness within minutes of meeting Amara.

At lunch, Dean saw Amara sitting on the bleachers. She was alone. Dean didn’t want to approach her. Dean had a great group of friends and an even better boyfriend. He didn’t need anyone else. But Dean felt his body move towards her. It was like he wasn’t controlling his movements, like Amara was pulling on him through an invisible rope. Once Amara looked up, Dean was standing right next to her.

“Hi.”

“Uh, hi. I’m-”

“Dean Winchester?”

“Yeah, uh, how did you know that?”

“I’ve just heard your name is all. You should sit.”

“No, uh, I shouldn’t…”  _Castiel is probably looking for me._

“Come on. Just for a minute.”

And Dean sat. They were shoulder to shoulder and both of them didn’t say a thing. Then Amara stood up.

“I like you Dean Winchester. I think you’ll find that you like me too.”

“I have a boyfriend.” It came out clumsy, like Dean was overcompensating.

“Oh honey, that hardly ever stops me.”

And with that, Amara moved down the bleachers. Dean caught himself staring at her body, admiring her curves underneath the dress.  _Fuck she's hot. But I shouldn't think that she is._

That night, Castiel came over to study. When they got to talking about their day, Castiel asked why he hadn’t seen Dean at lunch.

“Me and Charlie had a huge argument over Fahrenheit 451. You would’ve loved it. Where were you?”

“I got caught up talking to Coach Luci about football. You know how he is.”  _Why did I lie? Me and Amara just sat together, no big deal. We didn't do anything. Why am I trying to convince myself?_

“Gross. Sports.” And that was it. Castiel didn’t even question a word coming out of Dean’s mouth. Their night went on as usual.

They had a system. If Castiel stayed for dinner, it meant he and Dean were going to make out after. It was unspoken law. After each of them had 4 slices of pizza, they went upstairs and closed the door. Castiel sat on the bed, with his hands behind him.

Dean walked over and sat next to him. Before long they were kissing. Dean pushed Castiel back onto the bed and locked Castiel in place. Dean started sucking on Castiel’s neck, his hands exploring any skin they could find. Dean was getting hot. And turned on. He pulled of his shirt and Castiel did the same. They kept kissing. But when Dean started undoing his pants, Castiel stopped.

“Stop Dean.”

“Right yeah sorry I got carried away.”

Castiel started kissing Dean again, his tongue consistently requesting and gaining entrance into Dean’s mouth. They continued like this for a few minutes, but when Dean started grinding on Castiel, it all came to an abrupt halt. Castiel lept off the bed.

“What the fuck Dean?”

“Damnit. I’m sorry.”

“I’m gonna go.”

“No. Castiel stay.”

Cas walked out of the room without a word. Dean leaned back on his headboard in frustration. _Shit._

He looked down at his tent. _May as well take care of that._  Dean unzipped his pants and started pumping. He closed his eyes and imagined Castiel, like he always did when he jacked off. Soon he got into the rhythm of it. He felt the warmth building up. His breath became broken and uneven. He was imaging Castiel sucking his dick. He looked at the head of black hair. Then Dean imagined himself touching Amara. He saw Castiel’s blue eyes turn into her brown one’s. And Dean liked it. He came instantly.

“That, that was not okay.” Dean said out loud to the empty room.

The next day at lunch, Dean went to the bleachers. _I shouldn't be here._

And there she was. As if on queue, she looked up and met Dean’s eyes. Amara gave him a smile that looked like it could drive God himself crazy. Dean walked up to sit by her.

“Hi Dean.”

“Hey.”

“Why are you here?”

“Because..because...I don’t know why.”

“I think you know why. Because I can’t be resisted.” And Amara just kissed him. She grabbed his face and pulled it to her own. At first it was just Amara, and Dean sat there letting it happen. But then he kissed back. When he finally came up for air, he looked around to make sure no one had seen.

Then he looked down, and sure enough, there was Castiel Novak looking right at him.

“Cas! Cas!” Dean yelled as he ran towards him. Then they were standing face to face.

“That was nothing, okay. She is nothing. We are something. You are everything.”

“No, Dean. That was something. God, I was so stupid to believe this would last. Or that this was real. This whole thing between us ends now.”

Castiel walked away. Dean just stood there, watching him go. Then Amara called from the top of the bleachers.

“He was stupid to believe that it would last. Especially after I came into town.”

“You ruined a really great thing in my life. You and I are not going to be together. Ever. Now I’m gonna go fight for what matters. And you certainly don’t matter.”

Dean found Cas talking to Charlie on the black top. Charlie saw him first, and quickly got up and left.

“Hey Cas.”

“Hey Dean.”

“So this is it? There’s nothing I can do.”  _God, please let there be something I can do._

“Yeah. There really isn’t. It’s done.”

“Okay. But maybe someday-”

“No Dean. There will never be a ‘someday.’ You made sure of that. I’m not mad. I’m not frustrated. I just don’t want you in my life anymore. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Castiel got up and walked in the same direction Charlie had. Dean did nothing but stare at his hands.

 

 

  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry!! This isn't the end though, so who knows what'll happen next. Thank you for reading and leaving comments.


	8. I Want You to Stay

For the rest of sophomore year, time felt thick to Dean, like he was struggling to swim through to the next moment. Charlie hung out exclusively with Castiel, as did a lot of his good friends. Dean was left with some knuckleheads that he was only friends with to begin with because they made him feel better about not giving two shits in school. Dean wasn’t sad or angry, just lonely. He missed Castiel staying over for dinner. He missed having someone to hug in the hall. He missed that fluttery feeling in his stomach whenever Castiel was around. Now Castiel felt like a distant memory. The two boys only saw each other when it was absolutely unavoidable, which was rare.

For the rest of sophomore year Castiel felt numb. Seeing Dean kissing Amara made him feel too much too fast, and he just turned it off. Castiel went about his days as he did before Dean, studying too much, worrying too much, and feeling nothing. The only thing that changed was Castiel’s friend group. He had Charlie and Benny and some others. They made Castiel smile sometimes, but they had been Dean’s friends too, and Castiel felt a pang of guilt for somehow stealing them from him.

They did finish their science project though. After their last day of working together, they took the long drive back into town. In the whole drive they only exchanged a few words:

“I’m glad we finished it. You know, I really think the whole idea was kind of stupid...The project idea, I mean.”

“Yeah I’m glad we finished it too. It wouldn’t of worked out if it had gone on for any longer. I can’t help but think I was more committed than you.”

“Don’t say that. I tried, Cas.”

“Not hard enough. Clearly.”

“Are we still talking about the project?”

“Of course.” _Of course not._

And that was how sophomore year ended, with both boys feeling bitter, but missing each other at the heart of it all.

The summer brought them both closure and neutrality. They were apart and didn’t have opportunities to send subliminal messages or give side-eye. The whole situation blew over. Castiel and Dean just weren’t together, and no one felt sad or happy about that. It was just fact. The whole world moved on from their relationship too. They were the first openly gay couple at their small high school, so of course there was talk when Dean and Cas first broke up. But after a while no one cared anymore. There were new couples to gossip about, other people to pick apart.

 

\---

**Junior Year**

 

Castiel had spent the summer studying for SAT’s, going over material, and occasionally hanging out with Charlie. It was the perfect summer for Cas. Dean had barely crossed his mind.

Dean had spent the summer working on cars in his garage. He had put posters up all over town offering to fix cars for no charge. Dean just wanted experience. He fixed 5 cars a week, minimum. It was the perfect summer for Dean. Castiel barely crossed his mind.

That is, until the first day of school. Dean walked in filled with confidence. He was excited to get the show on the road. He stopped by his advisor, got his locker number and walked straight to it. And there he was. Castiel was standing at his locker with the door open, holding a few books. Dean couldn’t stop staring. It all came flooding back. The diner, the science project, kissing in his room. It was all lovely. Then he remembered kissing Amara, making a mess of everything. Dean looked at his shoes, all his confidence gone in an instant.

Then there was a definite moment for Castiel, where he turned his head just as Dean was staring at him, and all the air got sucked out of the hall. Castiel was immediately filled with anxiety, but he was trying hard to ignore Dean and got back to organizing his locker.

Dean saw that, and a small part of him was hurt because of it. Finally, Dean walked over. He said hi to some people on the way there, but once he got to his locker Castiel was the only one. Cas was the one that spoke first.

“Hi Dean.”

“Hey Cas.”

“How was your summer?”

“It was good. How about yours?”

“It was really fun.”

Castiel put his last book in his locker and shut it. “Well, I hope you have a good year.”

Dean watched him walk away. _Please don’t talk to me like I’m anyone else._

After that initial interaction, Castiel and Dean found they were in two classes together. In both classes, they sat far away from each other. They had no reason or need to even look in the direction or the other, and yet Castiel caught himself looking.

Every second and fourth block, their two blocks together, Castiel’s blue eyes trailed across the room and watched Dean. Cas felt himself not paying attention, and he didn’t care. He just needed to absorb as much Dean as he could.

Outside of those two classes, Dean didn’t see Castiel at all. He did see Charlie though. And Benny. Dean even started hanging out with Ash again. Somehow, he managed to be rebuilding his friendships with his old friends without interacting with Castiel at all.

Castiel and Dean were floating in their own bubbles, and they were narrowly keeping them from colliding. That is, until Castiel got tired of just staring.

Cas wasn’t stupid. And he wasn’t delusional. When Castiel felt something, he had the capacity to at least acknowledge he the feeling before desperately trying to stifle the emotion. It was about the fifth time Cas caught himself staring at Dean during English. He went back to doing the classwork, but immediately just started doodling useless scribbles in the margin.

_Every damn class. He just sits there and looks so fucking gorgeous without even trying. Why won’t he just look my way, once. I want to look into that green again. I need to look into that green again. I don’t care about this work. All I can think about right now is Dean. All I want to think about is Dean. All I want is Dean. Fuck. There it is. He broke my heart and yet here I am, pining for him. And it’s too late. He doesn’t want me anymore._

After that day, Castiel didn’t feel the same. Instead of avoiding his friends when they were with Dean he actively sought them out. He just wanted to see Dean, even if just for a second before deciding he was now unwelcome and awkwardly walking away. But he was welcome. Castiel just wanted to shake Dean by the shoulders and show him how much he wanted him now more than ever.

Despite Castiel’s best efforts to insert himself into Dean’s life, Dean was still working to keep their bubbles separate. To Dean, Castiel was over him. Dean wasn’t over Castiel, but he wasn’t in a state of desperate want either. Dean now knew he could go a whole summer without Castiel and survive, but that didn’t mean he wanted to go a whole summer without Castiel. He felt happier when Castiel was around. He felt better when Castiel was around. But he just didn’t feel like Castiel really wanted to be around him. Dean understood that what he did to Castiel was terrible. But time had passed, and maybe that meant Castiel wasn’t as set on them never being together again. Dean wondered almost constantly about what Castiel had said on that day after the Amara kiss: “There will never be a ‘someday.’ You made sure of that. I’m not mad. I’m not frustrated. I just don’t want you in my life anymore.” Dean rolled that quote around in his mind all day, and imagined if maybe there was a chance it had an expiration date.

Though Dean would love to think time had changed Castiel’s mind, he still felt the need to respect his wishes until he was told differently by Cas himself. So when Castiel joined a conversation circle with Charlie and Benny, or joined them on the blacktop at lunch, Dean politely removed himself from the situation. Although, Castiel was appearing a lot more lately.

Eventually, Castiel got tired of chasing Dean. On the friday of the third week of school, Cas sat down next to Ash on the black top. As always, conversation stopped and Dean looked down to his feet. The air became increasingly tense until Dean stood up to leave. Castiel grabbed his wrist.

“It’s okay. I want you to stay.”

“Alright.” Dean plopped himself back down. At first, the lunch was awkward, with Charlie making every effort to start up some kind of conversation. But everyone had to get used to having Dean and Cas around at the same time. Eventually, they slipped back into talking.

The days rolled by as Dean and Castiel learned to exist in the same space again. They could now sit comfortably at the same table, take the same side in a discussion, and talk to the same person. But they could not talk to each other directly, make eye contact, or sit directly next to each other. Dean was trying hard not to overstep his bounds with Cas, because of what he did to him sophomore year. He liked that they were developing their relationship, but let Castiel drive it. The last thing he wanted was to make Cas uncomfortable and ruin the progress they had made.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't believe this is the eighth chapter. Thank you so much for reading. As always, comments are much appreciated.


	9. I Forgive You, Dean

The friend group had slowly rebuilt itself into what it had been before Castiel and Dean broke up, but no ever dared talk about the breakup itself. No one even felt comfortable discussing the fact that they had dated at all. Everyone pretended it had never happened, as they did the Amara kiss. It still felt like an open wound, even though it happened sophomore year. But Castiel’s friends weren’t the only ones who felt like the breakup was as fresh as ever. Cas found himself feeling a bit like he did the first week after he caught Dean with Amara: a little betrayed, a little angry, a little sad, but mostly missing how things were. It was like his summer of being over Dean never happened, and he was right back where he started. 

Dean just felt mad, just as he had after kissing Amara. His emotions were all heightened and he just walked around feeling this white hot hate for Amara. Dean had thought that being Castiel’s friend was good, because  _ how could being around Cas be anything but good?  _ But it was terrible. Dean had been fine. He recovered from the sickening guilt he felt all the time. He learned to accept what he had done. But having Castiel around made him feel guilty all over again.

But they had the same friends, and Castiel still felt this need to be around Dean, so they ended up around each other at school a lot of the time. But never outside of school. If the group was hanging out, they picked between Dean or Castiel to invite, but they never invited both. That was a line no one had crossed, not even Charlie. Until she did.

Charlie was just as close to Dean as she was to Castiel, which made her special. Sure they were all friends with both boys, but every single person had a favorite. Benny would never leave Dean’s side, Ash preferred talking to Castiel, Jo and Lisa would do just about anything for Dean, Kevin and Cas took AP everything together, and Hannah was always looking at Castiel with heart eyes. Charlie was the one that loved them both, would do anything for them both, and it was her birthday.

Charlie was turning 17, and she was very excited about it. She had been talking about the upcoming birthday for weeks, and it was finally here. She announced her get together at lunch. She stood up from the table and slowly got everyone’s attention.

“Hi everyone. As you must know by now, my birthday is this Saturday. And I would like nothing more than to spend it with all of you amazing people. That’s a lie. I would rather spend it with Princess Leia.” Everyone groaned as she wiggled her eyebrows.

“But I guess you guys are what I have and I’m gonna make the best of it. So I’m having a party. More of a get together, actually, since there’s like 9 of us. So everyone” she stressed that word as her eyes wandered between Castiel and Dean, “go to the sushi place on Main at 1. And then we’ll get ice cream, because duh. Oh and let me know if you’re coming or not, okay?”

“All of us?” Benny asked. Charlie sat back down.

“Yeah, all of you.” The air thickened with tensity. No one said anything. Because Charlie had invited Dean and Cas to the same place, at the same time, outside of school. Charlie wasn’t clueless to what she had done, and she felt the awkwardness settle over the table.

“Guys, it’s only weird if you make it weird. And you’re making it weird.” Everyone laughed, albeit forcedly, but it did something to lift the atmosphere.

“We’re going.” Lisa and Jo agreed.

“Damnit now I have to find a gift. Shit.” Benny said.

“I’ll go, but don’t expect a gift.” Ash was all about minimal effort.

“I really shouldn’t go, because the physics test, but we’ll start studying tonight to make up for it, right Cas?”

Castiel looked up from his lunch.  _ I have to go, this is Charlie. But if I go, will Dean go? I really hope he does. _

“Yes, I wouldn’t miss it for the world Charlie.”

Everyone’s eyes were on Dean as he slowly chewed. He looked up and saw everyone’s eyes.

“Well shit, this ain’t the circus and I ain’t a clown so you can stop looking at me like that.”  _ Fuck, I can’t go. Cas is gonna be there. And I can’t see Cas anywhere but here, right? I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to, but what if I scare him off? What if he doesn’t want me there?  _ Dean looked at Charlie.  _ Fuck it, this is Charlie. I have to be there.  _

“Duh, I’m going. You can all just calm down now.” Dean looked at Cas across the table and they locked eyes.  _ Show me you’re okay with this. I really need you to be okay with this.  _ Castiel just nodded in such a way that only someone who was looking for it would notice. Dean noticed.

“Yes! Everyone’s going!”

There wasn’t any more mention of Charlie’s little event, and lunch finished off as usual.

The week ended in a blur, and Saturday happened.

Dean hopped into his Impala and made his way to Charlie’s lunch. A part of him felt...nervous. There was no reason to be, Charlie was one of his best friends. But Castiel was going to be there too. Castiel with his blue eyes and his stupid hair, and Dean was nervous to see him.

Castiel got to the sushi place second, after Charlie. When he saw her, he hugged her. Then they sat down together at one end of the table.

“Happy birthday Charlie.”

“Thanks Cas.”

They proceeded to have idle conversation Charlie’s eyes light up. Castiel turned around to see who had arrived.  _ Of course it’s Dean. _

Dean noticed Cas the moment he had walked in.  _ I haven’t actually talked to him in months, and I’m not going to unless he talks to me. _

“Charlie, you’re 17!”

“I’m 17!”

“Happy birthday.” Dean wrapped her into a huge hug.

“Thank you. Sit here, next to me.”

Charlie was at the head of the table, and Dean was right across from Castiel.

Charlie didn’t say anything. She just sat there, beaming. But when she saw that neither of her best friends intended to speak, she realized she had to remedy the situation.

“So, what did you two get me?”

“Oh yeah! Well I know you’re into the whole LARPing thing. So I got you this sewing kit, so you can build costumes and stuff.” Charlie grabbed it out of Dean’s hands.

“This is perfect! Thank you. We’ll LARP together sometime.”

“That just sounds gross.”

“You’d love it. And what about you Cas. Dean set the bar high.”

“I got you a hard drive, because you’re always complaining about not having enough space. And I got you some Lord of the Rings stickers to put on it.”

“You two really killed it.”

More people started showing up, and the table got noisy with conversation. The lunch was going just as lunches went in school: Castiel and Dean avoiding eye contact, awkwardly avoiding talking to each other, and everyone too distracted to notice. Except for Charlie. She was seated right between them, and she noticed. And she quickly realized that she didn’t remember seeing them talk to each other ever since the breakup.

She leaned towards Dean, who was in the middle of an argument with Hannah about whether or not angels were real.

Charlie whispered, just low enough so no one could hear “Why don’t you and Cas talk, like ever?”

Dean coughed and turned to her uncomfortably. Hannah moved her argument to Benny.

“Reasons,” Dean whispered back.

“Not good enough.”

“No Charlie. Good enough.”

“I just don’t get it. How have you two gone all this time without saying one word?”

“We just have, okay.”

“Dean, this is Charlie, your best friend since like forever.”

“Fine. God.” Dean rolled his eyes and leaned even farther towards Charlie. He lowered his voice into the smallest sound.

“Because I don’t think Castiel wants to talk to me. Not after what I did.”

“He asked you to stay, Dean, that day during lunch a few weeks ago.”

“Yeah, but I don’t wanna screw up. I’m the one who kissed Amara and fucked everything up. I’m the one who broke his heart. Not the other way around. The way I see it, I have no right to even look him in the eye unless he straight up asks me to. He’s in command here.”

“I don’t he knows that.” Charlie leaned back and joined in the greater conversation. Dean just sat there, dumbfounded.  _ He doesn’t know? How can he possibly not know? I’m the one who messed up here. I’ll tell him. I have to make sure he knows that he’s in control. _

The lunch finished and everyone  started walking to the ice cream place. All 9 of them walked on the sidewalk, and eventually everyone started grouping up to have small conversations. Castiel shifted towards Kevin, until Dean showed up by his side.  _ This is strange. This is definitely strange.  _ Cas just looked forward.

“Hey Cas.”  _ Damn that feels good to say to him. _

“Hi Dean.”  _ This is still strange. But that felt so good to say. _

Dean slowed down his stride, putting distance between himself and the rest of the group. Castiel stayed by his side.

“I know this is weird. But I gotta tell you something, man.”  _ Shit, now I really made it weird. _

“Okay.”  _ What the hell is this. Does he actually want to talk to me, his stupid ex from sophomore year! _

“Okay, so here goes, I guess. I’m the one who fucked up. I’m the one who broke your heart. So I’m not gonna do anything you’re uncomfortable. That’s why I don’t talk to you. That’s why I never sit next to you. That’s why I avoid you unless we’re with these guys. Because you’re in control here. Charlie told me you might not know that, but I’m worried about overstepping my bounds. So unless you tell me what those bounds are, I’m gonna assume you don’t want me around.”  _ He probably hates me. I should never have talked to him. _

“I want you around Dean. I was actually over you for a good bit of time, but now, I don’t know, everything feels fresh again.”

“I know what you mean.”

“I don’t think you do.”  _ I’m gonna regret this.  _ “I miss you Dean. I miss everything. The dinners at your house. Hugging you. Kissing you. Talking to you. But I also hate that I miss you. Because it hurt so fucking much, seeing you with her. I felt like I wasn’t enough for you. Like I was insignificant. I come back to school and I feel that same way again, and it’s worst the second time around. Because this time I know you don’t want me anymore. I know for a fact you don’t miss me. I know you don’t want this anymore. And I’m still trying to-”

“Oh my god, Cas. I want this. I want this so much.”

“But us both wanting to be together isn’t enough, Dean. You see that don’t you?”

“Why not?”

“Because of what you did. I got over you, but I never forgave you. I want to so badly, but everytime I try, I just see you and Amara on those bleachers.”

“I’m so sorry Cas. How can I make you see that?”

“I know you’re sorry. But I wasn’t enough for you Dean. And what makes you think that I’ll be enough this time?”

“You’re enough Castiel. You know why? Because I think about you. Constantly. Before I go to bed, all I do is run through all the times I saw you that day. I try so hard each and every day to absorb as much of you without stepping into your space. Then I close my eyes to sleep, and there you are. Your fucking eyes just staring me. And I don’t want to see anyone else’s. That blue takes my breath away every night. And I miss looking into it.”

Castiel stopped walking and faced Dean. The rest of the group was long gone.

“Look into my eyes, then. Do you I need to give your permission to do that? There you have it.”

Dean examined Castiel’s face, just like he had in the car on that first car trip. His eyes looked at every detail. Then they settled on Cas’ lips. He watched as they moved.

“I forgive you Dean.”

Dean leaned forward and their lips collided. Their eyes closed, and it felt like something very wrong had been just righted. It felt like a huge cosmic shift. It felt like angels were falling just to witness it. It felt like cupids everywhere were cheering.

Castiel and Dean didn’t need italics anymore. Because most importantly, the kiss felt like everything was being said. Every thought was being shared.

Finally they pulled away.

“That right there, Cas, was worth waiting for.”

Castiel bit his lip,  “And now we can do it again and again and again.“

They clasped their hands and walked towards the ice cream shop, and it felt like coming home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that's the whole thing! This fic has been so amazing to write and I've learned so much. I'm looking forward to writing many more fics in the new year. Thank you to everyone who's read along, left kudos, and commented. I hope you enjoyed the story :)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first chapter fic ever and I'm so excited to write it. Let me know if you like this, so I'll be encouraged to write more. Thanks for reading!


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